No-one is perfect. And throughout everyone’s life, we all manage to do a fair amount of damage to others, at some time or another. As children, we may be unfortunate to suffer abuse or neglect at the hands of our parents or caregivers. Or we may have an experience that leaves us traumatized, or with PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) through no fault of our own. But regardless of the damage done at the hands of others, it becomes our responsibility to heal the wounds.
When we feel something in a deep way, it is imprinted into our subconscious, which has the ability to manifest our experiences not only through our memory but also in our body, in the form of stress and anxiety and even in illnesses if we allow ourselves to go along with it.
We usually move into a state of heightened awareness in our lives when we realise that we have developed patterns of behaviour and beliefs that keep presenting themselves in ways that don’t serve us and are generally causing us pain. Like choosing the wrong types of people to be in relationships with, or being stuck in jobs that don’t make us happy. Or maybe we suffer from a lack of confidence and cannot push ourselves out into the world to achieve what we truly desire. Whatever the consequence after enough pain, we begin to realise that we have to change, that we have to heal the parts of ourselves that got hurt and begin to integrate the parts we left behind.
When we begin the process of change it can be extremely uncomfortable, after such a length of time practising behaviours that don’t serve we still prefer to be in pain, instead of put ourselves into situations that do not guarantee outcome. We want to be certain and ready for what is to come, but in stepping into the unknown we put ourselves in situations where the subconscious part of our brains goes into red alert. ‘What if a new situation hurts you?’ ‘Best go back to what you know..even if the results are not what you want’
Just like an orange when squeezed, human beings expel whatever is inside them when triggered by people or outside resources. And others don’t forget when we hurt them.
Being a victim is a place people often stay in after a traumatic event, but as we know everyone tires of people that don’t seek help or try to help themselves.
So if we don’t heal our hurts we just end up hurting ourselves more, as we bleed out our pain on others. When we are defensive and protective due to fear of further hurt, we close our hearts and minds to love and connection, new people and possibilities. And our worlds become smaller.
It’s never too late to heal your hurts, to face the darkness that lies in the shadows of your life, yes it may be uncomfortable,but what is a life lived feeling unfulfilled and unloved?
Happiness is worth any risk, it’s what we are here for….