What really is an Addiction?
Many of us have an addiction that we just cannot seem to shake off. And to make matters worse, having an addiction seems to be an almost acceptable part of being in the world today.
But underneath social acceptability, those of us that have an addiction, struggle with acceptance on a personal level.
With an addiction comes shame and blame, an internal struggle that just won’t go away and almost always confusion as to why we have it. Not to mention health, finance and emotional cost.
There are many programs we can undertake to overcome an addiction and it is certainly achievable, but most of them do not embrace the real cause.
Connection to ourselves as human beings, is a really importance aspect of our lives. It means living in our truth, regardless of its perceived ugliness. It means embracing just who we are, not trying to be anyone else. But if we have experienced severe pain and trauma, there are parts of us that develop in negative ways. Parts of us that we don’t want others to be aware of. Pain that we feel we cannot show and so we dampen it down in order to be and connect with others in ways that are more fitting.
Being part of a family and group gives us a sense of being connected,accepted and loved, but if we have parts of us we don’t like or we feel uncomfortable with, addictions can become a valuable resource we indulge in.
Addictions are a quick and easy fix to not feeling our true feelings, they soften loneliness,insecurity and isolation,but they are not sustainable. They also help us to connect with our feeling sense. They make us feel different, alive and aleviate numbness. But again are not without consequences long term.
Over time an addiction becomes a behaviour, its just something we do,instead of being a conscious decision based on how we want to experience life. And the more we practice it the more instilled it becomes.
I wanted to write about addictions today, because I wanted to present a different take on them. To allow those of you who suffer in the throws of your addiction a perspective that may just help you to see the path out.
Awareness is the first key, awareness of when we started to practice our addiction and what was going around that time. How dis-connected from yourself and others did you feel at that time?
A desire to change is the second key. Most of us have to feel pretty fed up with ourselves and at the end of our tether before we will make the decision to change. And the desire to change, means you will put in the necessary effort.
Having the skills and tools to change is vital also. If we have tried many times and failed, its because we don’t have the right tools. Just like trying to do a job we haven’t done before. Without the right knowledge and expertise, failure is imminent.
Feeling worthy of change is also imperative when enforcing change on a permanent basis. Without self-worth why would we even try?
Being aware of the fear of being rejected for who we are because of our past, creates in us a stronger desire to indulge in our addiction, as the pain of lack of connection grows daily. And the only way to overcome this is to be vulnerable in who you are and reach out to make connections regardless of your fear.
So in our quest to overcome our addictions, we must ask ourselves this viral question-
What feeling are we wanting to not feel and what feeling do we want to feel?