Forgiveness

I am writing this after someone I held close to my heart, hurt me. Probably not the best time to write about forgiveness, but I love a challenge!
Most of us have struggled and maybe still do struggle with forgiveness. And I am sure you will agree in the grand scheme of things, it’s a biggy.
So why should we forgive and not seek revenge? Why should we let go of what ever ill has been done to us and plot and scheme a big comeback?
Well, I believe that the energy we expend and the hours we apply to mulling over what someone has done to us, only allows for the hurt to linger. And if we are really here on earth to create our own happiness, then what is the point in keeping ourselves in a place of pain and suffering? Surely someone that has done us wrong has no place occupying our minds.
You see holding onto a past that we cannot change is totally a thankless task, it serves neither us or the people around us.
When we tell others about how someone has wronged us, it only leads to creating a victim state within us. It also keeps the pain and story alive…and why on earth would we do that?
Forgetting is not necessarily something we have to focus too hard on, I tend to think that time sees to forgetting. As we experience new things every day and make new memories the past tends to get blurry and events just fade away, until someone or something reminds us of them.
But forgiveness needs to be intentional, we need to work on it and allow past hurts to soften and fade.
If you struggle with forgiveness it may help you to think about the concept that, the universe only brings into our lives people and events that will either enhance our lives or teach us something. With this concept comes a sense of accepting more easily a situation, with the knowing that if we embrace the lesson and learn from it we are no longer beholden to it.
So what about forgiving ourselves? This can also be a great challenge when we find ourselves behaving in ways we later regret. As human beings we have the ability to berate and punish ourselves for hours, days, weeks, months and sometimes even years. But again what is the point, when we cannot undo what has been done. Instead why do we not focus on an apology where one is due, or make a promise to ourselves that we will change a behaviour and not repeat it in the future.
Surely positive action is a lot better than torturing ourselves.
Today I forgive myself for my past, a part of my life, that I had no control over. I choose to learn how it has manifested itself in my life, how the pain I suffered created behaviours and expectations that are not realistic when associating with others, I choose to change and take on a different perspective.
I also choose to forgive those that will never know how much they meant to me, just because they aren’t me. Because they have had different life experiences to me and are therefore different people.
At the end of the day most of us are doing the best we can with the capabilities and awareness that we have at any given time. We can choose to grow and change or we can stay stuck with attitudes, thought’s and behaviour’s that don’t serve us.
Take a moment today to think wether you are holding onto something from the past, if forgiveness is something that you could practice in order to give yourself more peace and let go of things that no longer serve you.
Have a wonderful week, until next time!

Much love

Nicola

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