How to own your happiness (Part 1)

happiness is freedom

Have you ever stopped and listened to how you speak to yourself? No? Well maybe it’s time to do so? My guess is that a large percentage of the population are giving themselves a hard time through a consistent babble in their heads, that is constantly reaffirming what they can’t do, how they are not good enough, how people like themselves never achieve great things and become successful people in any aspect of life. Being mindful of yourself is a great accomplishment and skill that requires dedication and time to create. Some may say it’s a waste of time because they will never change (see the pattern here?)but if you have come into a recognition that things don’t seem to work for you as much as they do for others…how your internal voice speaks to you, could be the problem. Negative thoughts and words create a negative attitude, but I know that most would never consider how much control we really have over this. They also create bad feelings in us which can lead to sadness and even depression.

Now we already know that when we create a beautiful home, which is well cared for and filled with bright colours,it makes us feel happy and light on our feet. We take pleasure in looking at a beautiful vase full of fresh flowers full of life…we know this. So how come we don’t easily fill our heads with happy, beautiful and loving thoughts and language….to make ourselves feel good? Because we have listened to the voices of others, that are well practised in the art of negative thoughts and self-speak. If as a child you were around adults that warned you to be too careful, not to take risks, that all dogs bite, that every person you don’t know wants to take you away from your parents, that foods they don’t like you shouldn’t like either. That you shouldn’t show your individuality by stepping away from the crowd, that it is better to fit in…(get the gist?) How is your self speak going to develop? Now it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to work out, but for those of you that were told to never have your own opinion for fear of being wrong and make a fool of yourself and show your parents up…i am going to tell you!!(sorry for my bluntness…even after 4 years of discovering the negative and positive influences of self speak….I am still reeling from the power and effects it has had on my life). You are going to achieve on a lower scale financially,emotionally,physically and spirituality…yep!…these are the facts folks!! Your life will be mediocre if you are lucky. You may have moments of positivity when something has gone well, but that good old negative chatter in your head will soon step in to relieve you of any happiness you may experience taking you back down to feeling low, unworthy and generally pretty crappy! So do I need to go on with reminding you how awful your life is? or can we move on to the good.

bit? Let’s do it! To begin with this might be a little daunting but you will soon get used to having a new routine because the benefits will come back to you tenfold! When you wake in the morning your inner chatter kicks in, so you need to listen carefully and notice what it is saying to you, also how you are feeling. So I want you to just lay in bed for a few seconds and bring attention to yourself. If you are feeling excited about the coming day and it’s events planned and unplanned, it is highly likely your self speak will be on the lines of ” great, a new day! I have lots to look forward to!”(you are preparing yourself for a positive and fulfilled day). However if you feel despair on awakening, have no enthusiasm to get out of bed and face the day, your thoughts are likely negative such as “Oh, another day, I wonder what will go wrong today? I am dreading the meeting at work today, how will I ever pay the vet bill for the cat?” In this negative state you are setting yourself up for a day based on fear and reinforcing your feelings of unworthiness, have a lack of things you need and of having positive outcomes for yourself. One you are aware of the language you speak to yourself, you can start to change it, simply by stopping your negative chatter mid stream as it occurs and choosing to replace it with something more positive that you wish to happen. In this way you are actually taking control of your mind and the way you speak to yourself and choosing how you are going to feel…..happy feelings, instead of sad and depressing ones. At the beginning, this process maybe challenging as you will depending on your age probably have had the habit of speaking negatively to yourself for a fair few years, so practise is essential. Here are a few positive affirmations you can replace your negative ones with, just to get you going. “Today is going to be a great day, I have so much to look forward to” “I am able to achieve anything I put my mind to” “I am worthy of great things” “I am embracing life as it unfolds, knowing that all things good will come to me!” “I don’t have problems but challenges, that help me grow and learn, as I become stronger, wiser and happier” “All that I need to overcome obstacles, I already have in me!” “I am powerful and I am loved” “I am capable of loving and being loved” “Everything passes, nothing stays the same” “I can choose how I feel today and I choose to be happy”

So start as soon as you feel you want to be in control of your future happiness….for you are the only one to influence fully how you think and responsible for you life.

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